Tag Archives: anxiety

14th Instalment: That’s that then! P1

MeSsy days!, , , , , , ,

 

Thankyou text

 

 

 

11th August 2010….

Please note that i don’t remember all of this day exactly, its hard to remember everything when you are being bombarded with so much information!

Some of what I write may not be exact but I will try my best to get it right! It is too hard for my partner to have to remember all of these events and I don’t like to ask other people so I’ll plod along as best I can!

I sat waiting with my partner and my Dad, waiting for someone to call my name, waiting to be given an answer to the biggest question I had hanging over my head!

None of us spoke, we just sat, watching, watching all the other people who sat waiting, they were also waiting for answers. Everyone’s answer would be different. We weren’t all there for the same reason.

I was in my own world again when my Partner very gently put her hand on my knee and said ‘its time’ My heart sank

I looked up and a nurse called my name for the second time.

I stood up & walked towards her, she had a very gentle voice and a kind forgiving face. I had a nice feeling about this lady.

I noticed how I felt calmer, I felt at ease.

Why did I feel like this now when only moments before I felt like my heart was going to pop out of my chest it was beating that hard!

 

I followed the nurse into a consulting room where another woman sat in a chair behind what looked like a giant desk! When I was in the room and sat in a chair next to the desk I realised that it wasn’t the desk that was huge, it was the woman that was tiny!

She introduced herself as one of the Drs on the neurology team (I don’t remember her name!)

 

She went through some of my medical notes with me and explained that she would be doing some neurological tests and asked me to make my way to the bed and sit on the side.

The lady Dr stood up and started to walk towards me, my goodness she was tiny in stature but huge in width! She was pregnant and looked as though she hadn’t got long left until due date!

 

I sat there in my own world again! I do this often! I often take myself into dream world when I should actually be concentrating on what I am being asked or told to do.

I just sat there on the side of the examining bed with my feet dangling just thinking do I take these trainers off? I couldn’t remember if I was asked to!

How odd is it that I can remember useless facts like this but not all of the tests that were done!

 

When the Dr got to me she started the tests by checking my vision, I was still blind in my periphery vision, I think I had started to get used to it if that was at all possible!

The Dr asked me to follow her finger with my eyes but to keep my head still, as I did this and she moved her finger to my right periphery, I lost site of her finger. She asked me to continue to look there and not move my eyes. Well, this seemed to be impossible! Every time I strained to keep my eye still it pulled back to the left! This was an extremely strange sensation! It felt so odd, as though I had no control whatsoever. I started to get upset so the Dr went onto a different test.

It seems such a blur all the tests she did and unfortunately i just can’t remember them all!

 

We moved to a different room when that Dr had finished doing her tests, again the friendly nurse followed us all into the room and sat at the end of the bed.

There was a happy looking Dr sitting at a desk, he stood and introduced himself ‘Dr Shehu’ I shook his hand and sat down next to the desk.

He sat and looked through my notes and asked me to explain to him my symptoms, I told him exactly what was written in my notes, I lost vision in my right eye!

He asked me to take off my shoes and socks and to lay on the bed. At this point all I could think of was ‘that’ appointment with the neurosurgeon! This time I didn’t have to strip down to my underwear, he draw the curtain around us and that lovely friendly nurse was right at the end of the bed!

He continued with even more tests, some which the pregnant Dr had already done and some new ones.

The sensory test is one that I remember, it involved the testing of the main parts of my body – face, trunk, arms, and legs – for differences in sensation. Sensitivity to touch was tested by the Dr simply by touching my skin and sensitivity to pain was tested with a pinprick. I was surprised with how little I could feel! It wasn’t something that I was aware of! After all I was here because I had lost sight in my right eye, right?

 

Once all the tests were complete Dr Shehu then handed me over to the friendly nurse that had been following us around….

 

To be continued…..

 

 

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12th Instalment: Acupuncture

MeSsy days!, , , , , , , , ,
Thankyou text
It was the middle of July 2010 when finally I had my appointment letter come through for the Neurology Team at University Hospital Coventry, 11th August 2010 at 3pm! That wasn’t a date that I would forget quickly! It was the day after my Granma’s birthday!

I was still going to work and had to cover at different local branches which meant a lot of travelling! This was really tiring and hard as my vision was starting to get a little worse every day, I still had pain behind my right eye and continuous headaches.

I wasn’t getting the flashing lights as much but it was getting harder to see out of my right eye! I had no sight at all in my right peripheral vision which meant every time I wanted to look to the right I had to turn my head.
This wasn’t the best of things for me to do because when ever I tried to turn my head I would get a pain shoot down my left arm. Much like an electric shock feeling! This is what I was seeing Catherine my Physiotherapist for!
Catherine had decided that because the manipulation she was doing on my shoulder area wasn’t helping with my pain she was going to try something different. She explained to me that acupuncture has been known to help with pain and suggested we try it.
I have had acupuncture treatment before, when a married couple bought our family Health Food & Ethnic Fashion Shop ‘Way Of Life’ They kept the  Health food side and turned the Fashion side into Holistic Treatment rooms. The new owners (Husband & Wife) were the main Acupuncture Consultants and offered the remaining treatment room for hire.
I was ‘kept on’ as Manager of the Health food side and took bookings for the treatments that were offered.
This is when I tried Acupuncture for the first time. I wanted to be able to tell people about the treatment from a ‘firsthand’ point of view.
I loved it. It isn’t as scary as most people think! Okay, they put needles into different areas of your body depending on the treatment but they are tiny, hardly hurt and are quickly forgotten once you start to feel the benefits from them!
Because I knew the benefits of acupuncture first hand i was very keen when Catherine mentioned it. My only concern was having to change physio’s! Meeting new people used to make me very anxious!
But this wasn’t the case as Catherine was also a fully trained, fully qualified Acupuncturist! My luck was in! A new appointment was booked for my first acupuncture with Catherine.
Even though I had had it before I was still extremely anxious about the appointment! I remember thinking how much worse my anxiety would have been if it was with someone new!
Catherine explained to me how she would be doing the treatment, it was a different method to how I had it the first time at ‘Way Of Life’ they used a technique called ‘Moxibustion’

Techniques

As well as needling acupuncture points, a traditional acupuncturist may use other Chinese medicine techniques such as:

  • moxibustion: heat is applied to an acupuncture point or meridian using moxa (a therapeutic herb) and/or heat lamps to warm and relax muscles 

 

Even though Catherine used a different technique to the one I had experienced before with the heat I still found it extremely relaxing and by the time she had finished I noticed that the pain wasn’t as bad! Bliss!

We agreed on another appointment, Catherine said she was happy to continue seeing me until I knew more from my Neuro Surgeon appointment and of course the ever looming appointment with the Neurology Team at University Hospital Coventry!

11th Instalment: Race For Life

MeSsy days!, , , , ,

Thankyou text

 

It was the weekend after I saw the Ophthalmologist, myself and my partner were supposed to be doing the Solihull ‘Race for Life’ for Cancer research
It had been arranged with work colleagues from different branches, unfortunately a number of those that had signed up to do it dropped out for one reason or another, we didn’t!
I had signed myself & my partner up for it months before and we weren’t going to let what had happened recently stop us!  I was determined! We both were!

We had said from the start that we wouldn’t be running it, instead we were going to walk the 5k.Whilst we were away in Somerset we did literally walk for miles so the distance didn’t seem much of a challenge even though I was a lot slower than I used to be, my pace now suited my partner!

Making sure we had comfy clothes on and even more importantly the correct footwear, we made our way to the race!
We had agreed to meet the other ladies there and hoped we would find them in the crowd!
I hadn’t anticipated the amount of people who would be there and I found it quite daunting to be honest. Heart pounding we started to scout the field for my work colleagues.

In luck we found everyone and gathered in the correct areas for those walking, jogging and running!The starting pistols were fired marking the start for all the runners, two of my colleagues were running so they went before us.
The next pistol was fired again for those that were jogging to start.
Finally the last pistol was fired and all the walkers made their way around the 5k course which is just over 3 miles.
Nothing compared to the walks in Somerset! That’s what I kept telling myself anyway! It would be a breeze, just a casual walk in the park!
It turned out to be one of the hottest days of the year! We weren’t expecting it! It’s a good job I had taken the suntan lotion, our hats and plenty of water (That’ll make my Mum happy to know) but that didn’t help with the heat! At one point I remember pouring water over our heads to cool us down!
It was great to see helpers at different points of the race handing out drinks which was a welcomed sight as we were out of water!
We ploughed on through, passed all the checkpoints and eventually reached the end, tired and hot! We did it!
I felt so proud of us both!
Unfortunately I can’t remember what time we did the race in but it was impressive! We do have certificates though and they are safely packed in a box along with our medals!
Because it was so hot, we didn’t do much talking so there was plenty of time for thinking but I didn’t once get down about would could be because, like I said before, I didn’t know enough about it!
I couldn’t help but think, how can I possibly have MS! I just walked 3k!

 

8th Instalment: MRI Results

Thank you every one for patiently waiting for this, my 8th instalment.

My aim is to inspire & be inspired, to continue to be strong & continue to be confident!

I may be slow at blogging but that is only due to my MS. As with everything, I’ll get there eventually!

 

 

The journey home from that trip seemed to take a lifetime! We didn’t hold much conversation as we knew what we had to do when we returned.

Once we had taken our caravan back to the holding we went straight to the vets to collect Jake’s ashes!
So sad!

When home we did what most do, check through the post!
We had only been away just over a week and yet there was so much post!
One for me from ‘University Hospital Coventry’ my first thought when I saw the envelope was ‘Oh yeah! The MRI scan!’ I had honestly forgotten all about it since receiving the phone call, the one from the vet when we were on our walk in Somerset!

I opened the letter, it was an appointment to see an Ophthalmologist whose name seemed very familiar but I couldn’t place it.

Unfortunately the appointment was whilst we were away! I had missed it! I started to feel very anxious!
My partner read the letter and phoned the number on it. She managed to re-book the appointment for the same week. Apparently the person she spoke to was very understanding and pleasant!

The day of the appointment I really didn’t know what to expect! I was anxious but only the normal anxiety I get when going to any appointment!

I had found out why the Ophthalmologist’s name was familiar, he was a locum optometrist at one of the branches where I worked! Although I had never met him I felt comfortable because we had something In common!

We had the normal ‘chit chat’ that you might have in any appointment, I bought up that he was a locum at the same company that I worked for, which made the appointment feel much ‘lighter’ and less clinical!

It’s not surprising that I only really remember one thing from the appointment!

He spoke to me very relaxed, maybe that’s why I reacted the way I did!

“Your MRI results are back, you will be given an appointment with a neurologist as we think you may have MS. You will need more tests to be certain though”